The little things

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it? Or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I've read in a book when, shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So . . . Good night dear void." --Kathleen Kelly (played by Meg Ryan) in You've Got Mail

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You've Got Mail is one of my favorite movies. Though I'm not exactly sure why I like it so much, but I have a few guesses. . . It reminds me of my mom. It's flooded with talk of books and bookshops. Kathleen Kelly's apartment in the movie is absolutely adorable (I want it I want it I want it!). And finally, both Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks' characters are perfectly endearing, quirky, and just complicated enough. But ultimately, I fall in love with the details in this movie. The "bouquets of sharpened pencils" and quotes like the one written above that make you think differently, which I suppose is what good books and movies should make you do.

And this brings me to a moment I had a couple days ago, while on my evening run lakeside. My endorphins were seriously kicking in and I felt like I was on top of the world, especially after two relaxing and therapeutic days off. I was thinking about how much freedom I have in my life right now. How I can literally do anything I want in my time off, now that I'm no longer a university student (though I will be again in the near future, I promise). All options are open to me and I have total control of my life right now since there is no boyfriend or husband or baby to think about. Nope, just me.

And even though I'm on this great adventure in a new country on a different continent, it shocks me how normal my life still feels. Yes, I have those moments of awe when I cannot believe where I am and the opportunities I have here in front of me. And there is the constant excitement of being able to see something new everyday by simply walking a new street or taking the train to some unexplored city. But my life still feels remarkable small. I live here, in this hotel, in a small room with my suitcases half full of things I have still yet to unpack. Pictures of friends and family decorate my walls and tell the stories of other adventures and places and people. The book stacks I started with have gradually grown taller. And of course, I've accumulated my fair share of nicknacks and odds and ends that will be a pain in the ass to pack when I decide to move again. But that's it. That's my life. The funny thing though? I love it. And because I've downsized so much, I find it easier to see the value in the little things.

Yet, sometimes I still put pressure on myself to squeeze the most out of my time here. As nearly every adult over the age of 35 likes to remind me, life gets a lot more complicated later on. You can't just pick up and leave and travel and make spontaneous decisions like you used to. And maybe that's true. I don't doubt that marriage and kids and money and mortgage payments complicate life. But I think sometimes we forget to take that step back, change our perspective, and appreciate the little things that are there right in front of us. Life never has to become routine if we don't want it to be. Call me naïve if you want, but I hope I stay that way because I really believe that no matter where you are, who you're with, or what you do, there is always someplace new to discover, someone new to meet, or something new and exciting and extraordinary to do. There may be a lot of things about this life that I don't know, and plenty of things that I'll never know. But for now, I'm happy with the little life I've created, roots or not. And if this adventure teaches me anything, I hope it's to never forget the value of each day. Each moment is there for the taking. It's just up to you to decide what to do with it.