17.10.09

I finally sit down at my computer with a fresh cup of hot, way-too-strong French pressed coffee steaming profusely by my side. The paper cup that I saved from this morning's 6 am coffee at the train station with Marki is a weak stand in for comfort (or a companion), but seeing as it prompts several memories from the past week and a half of Marki and I searching aimlessly through cities to find the largest cup of coffee possible, it makes me smile.

Yes, as you may guess by the tinge of melancholy and nostalgia in my voice, Marki's stay in Switzerland came to an end this morning, which is why I have been avoiding my computer. And my camera. And anything else that may make the tears start flowing. Oh, and what do you know, there they come. Dammit, I knew this was inevitable.

But at the risk of turning this into a cryfest, which I refuse to let happen (or I will just choose to not tell you more about it), I have to admit that the past week and a half was the best week and a half I've had here. Picnic dinners provided by the Coop, coffee dates, being blatant tourists--sneakers and all, train rides, more train rides, wine and chocolate, "cheaaaaase," the epic hike, and plenty more that I will refrain from writing about for now (in some cases, you need the whole story to fully appreciate our adventures).

I know that coming to Switzerland by myself for, well, however long I end up staying, was a great decision. New experiences, some unexpected twists, and some much needed post-grad perspective on my life--all of which I would not have found (at least in the same way) had I stayed in what I knew at home. And as much as I value and need the time I have alone here to think and brainstorm and be, I can't deny how much happier I am when I'm with someone who knows me better than I know myself. But it's more than just a comfort thing. Yeah, obviously walking and talking and caféing with one of my best friends is more fun than doing it all in silence by myself. Duh, no surprise there. But what I realized on the second day of Marki's visit during a rainy afternoon in Vevey is that I am the best version of myself when I'm with the people I love. I care less about what other people think and I make choices based on what I feel and want and need--something I have struggled to do since I was little.

So perspective on life? It's actually pretty simple. Strolling lakeside with Starbucks coffee cups glued to our hands, Marki said it perfectly. "Life is short. Why not spend it with the people you love?" I'm sure you've all heard this a thousand times, maybe more. And although I'm not one for clichés (I personally despise them), this one is undoubtedly true and consequently vital to my own happiness--and sanity. Maybe I am missing out on some great friendships by not morphing into the social butterfly I could be with my co-workers, going out, bar hopping and dancing on tables. But when you already have friends like mine, a quiet evening alone doesn't sound so bad. Especially when it involves planning your future life with your best friends.

So of all the great things this post-grad gap year could teach me, I'd say the most important is realizing what I want and what makes me happy. Being with my best friends? Yeah, I think you get the picture. Oh, and those Starbucks cups I mentioned? I still have them both, and no, I have no intention of throwing them away even if they are merely paper cups.

See what I mean?

P.S. Marx, if it wasn't already clear, I miss you. A lot.

P.P.S. And since I find it only appropriate, here are some wise words from Dave Matthews that have been hanging on my wall for the past five years. (Thanks Marki. :)

Hey my friend,

It seems your eyes are troubled.

Care to share, your time with me?

I know you say you're feeling low and so

A good idea would be to get it off of your mind.

See you and me

Have a better time then most can dream of,

Have it better than the best,

So let's get the pull on through.

Whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down,

If nothing can be done,

We've got the best of what's around.