Temporarily out of service

There is this little musical event down south in the desert of California called Coachella.  And me, along with a fantastically random group of people, will be attending in all our glory covered in body paint, beads and California sun.

So instead of yogaing my life away like usual, I've chosen a new path.  Detox to retox, right?!  Here's to Coachella 2010!  And for those of you that can't be there, trust me.  You'll be there in spirit (and I'm sure we can dedicate some dances to you in the epic dance tent as well).

Until next week!

Sand in my shoes (and I love it)

The stars must have aligned for us this past Friday.  Sabrina AND Sam had the day off, and I worked it out so I could take a break from my incredibly hectic schedule of yoga, job searching, and wandering—but trust me, it wasn't easy.

So Sam and I hopped into the car and headed west to Lincoln City for a glorious day of beach strolling, chatting, and laughing harder than I have in weeks. . .  It was just one of those days that makes you feel light and happy and warm from the inside out.  And spending some quality time with the ocean wasn't so bad either.  Especially since it stands as my favorite place on earth.  Give me some sandy toes and a little laughter and I might just be the happiest person in the whole wide world.

Companions.  Isn't it wonderful to look at your friends and see just how beautiful they (and their minds) are?

Treasures!

Consider this

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love."  
—Rami

(Thanks Mare.  You nailed it.)

Hello friend

I talk a lot about my friends.  How wonderful they are, how much I miss them on a daily basis, etc. etc.  I suppose some of this comes from my tendency to be nostalgic (not that you've ever noticed), but it also stems from the deeply rooted belief I hold that your relationships largely define you.

I hesitate for a moment here because it's hard to realistically say that any one thing really defines a person.  In this case, however, I stand behind my words and with gusto.  Who you choose to spend your time with, why you hang on to certain relationships and not others, and how you treat those people all say a lot about what kind of person you choose to be.  Hold on to negative relationships and you'll quickly see how your life seems to be polluted with negative energy.  And likewise, surround yourself with positive, inspiring people and your days carry a certain brightness and clarity to them that make you happier as well.

And the funny thing about great friends?  They have a magical way of walking right back into your life when you need each other most, even if you don't realize it that very moment.  I guess that's where the beauty in friendship lies.  The connections and understandings you share and the selves that you are with one another bubble to the surface and re-instill your own faith in yourself.  Not only that, but you look at those people—those beautiful people and incredible minds—again with an unparalleled sense of admiration and appreciation because they just get it.  They get you.  And that, in my opinion, is worth everything.

OB-Sessed

Like O.M.G.  This song by the Swedish band Miike Snow is seriously amazing, along with the rest of their stuff (duh).  Okay, so the video is a little creepy, but hey, the song rocks and so do the Swedes.  Check 'em out!


Oh, and did I mention that I will be getting up close and personal with these guys at Coachella in nearly a week?  Granted thousands of other people will be doing the same, but I can't imagine them being any less than spectacular (and weird).  What a combo.

And if you haven't heard their song "Plastic Jungle," do yourself a favor and listen to it on repeat for a week.  One word: orgasmic.

Go on with your story

Today was a good day.  One of those days that leaves you feeling awake and alive, as if you're sparkling from the inside.  And shockingly, this has nothing to do with the weather (the rain has only ever quit to regain strength and then begin again) or the endorphins I got from my morning run (though, I'll admit they do work their mood-shifting magic).  Nope.  Today was a good day because it just was.  And I love that.

And I also love this and hope you do to:


                             Now I'm aware that I alone am in the vast
                                  openness
                                  of the sea
                             And cause the sea to be the sea.

                             Just swim.
                             Just swim.
                             Go on with your story.
                                                          —Dainin Katagiri Roshi

"This is what I wish for you: comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, [and] love to complete your life."
                                                                                                      —Winnie the Pooh

Ah the Madness!

After the dust settled and I no longer felt the need to hurl profanities at the TV screen in a last attempt to manifest a win for Michigan State (not that negative reinforcement actually works), I had to admit. . . A little piece of me is still rooting for the underdog.  Highly original, I know.

So when the ball is thrown into the air tomorrow, I'll be ready.  Duke, watch your back.  And seriously, stop showing off with those damn three-pointers.  It's effing annoying.

GO BUTLER!  Wooot WOOOOOOT!

Pen to paper (or is it finger to key?)

Sometimes I wonder, why do I write?  What's the point?  Does sending my thoughts and words out into the void really do anything at all?  And in times when I seem to lose track of my voice, of my connection to the blank page, I can't help but stop to question myself as well, as if my writing path is a direct reflection of my own life path.

And right now?  A standstill.  That's where we're both at—my writing and I.  I wake up in the morning, usually to the sound of rain drops casually falling outside my window, and I immediately get up to make that first cup of coffee—a ritual I look forward to every single morning.  And as I impatiently watch the drip drip drip of coffee fill my large, colorfully painted mug, the daily questions begin bubbling up in my mind like a violently erupting volcano.  How can I make this day a productive one?  Where should I start the job search today?  Will I ever find a job?  Where can I go?  What will make me happy?

And it's that last question, a question we have all found ourselves asking at one point or another, that trumps the rest.  It stands there, hands on hips, staring and withering me down little by little until all I can think about is making a second cup of coffee.  Sure, that will make things better.  But eventually, I start making a list because lists (especially on brightly colored post-its) almost always make me feel better.

What makes me happy?

*My friends

*My family

*Laughing with friends and family

*Coffee 

*Taking photos

*Discovering new places

*Traveling

*Crafting
*Music

*Yoga

*Reading a really good book

*Sunshine

*The ocean

*Making lists

*Writing

I sit back and look at my list, at all those things big or small that have a way of putting a smile back on my face.  And it's not just any smile, but a confident and believing smile that I try to carry with me for the rest of the day.  Suddenly the question what will make me happy? isn't quite so daunting because I know that no matter where I am or what I'm doing, deep down that happiness is still there, waiting to be summoned.  Every other seemingly daunting question seems to lose it's power.  I have incredible people in my life (even if we're not all in the same place this very moment), and I have the physical and mental ability to do things every day that make me happy.  It may sound simple, and sure, this whole process doesn't work its magic every day, but it's a start.  And maybe this standstill is a test of my dedication to myself, to my attitude, and to my writing.  

One of my favorite professors once said, "Tell your truth, not the world's."  (And yes, Erica Jong expressed the same brilliant idea as well.)  It is perhaps the best piece of advice I've ever received.  Sure, some people may find this whole idea of "truth" trite and overwhelming.  But the beauty in it is that it can be whatever you want it to be.  It's your mind, your words, and your truth.  

So then, why do I write?  I write because I believe in it.  I believe in the power of words, of expressing thoughts and linking them together to create some larger thought that tells my truth.  And no matter how big or small, any truth is worth writing for.  So today, here's mine, unwrapped and free.  Just     for     me.    

Cloud jumping

When I was little, my family would take an annual autumn drive into the mountains to see the fall colors.  And every year when my dad forced us into the car, my brother and I would complain and come up with every homework excuse in the book that might persuade him that we needed to stay home.  We were never successful.  So deep into the north Idaho mountains we drove, on dirt roads with potholes so big that getting out and walking probably would have been faster.  But I'll admit, the orange and yellow and fiery red trees were spectacular, and the photos we have from those drives still hold spaces in the photo albums of my memories.

And one of those years, I remember driving up and up, getting closer and closer to the clouds.  I was convinced that once we reached them, I would be able to climb onto one and spend the rest of the day jumping my little heart out on its fluffy, white pillow.  But the higher we drove, the clouds seemed to dissolve, leaving behind a hazy mist of cold air in their place.  I was so disappointed that I cried.

It was a hard day for my seven-year-old self to swallow.  So even today, when the big, puffy clouds come out to play, I try to block out that sad reality (tear) and instead picture myself jumping from one cloud to another like it's my job.

Besides, a little day dreaming never hurt anyone.  And with clouds like this, who could blame me?

Overlooking Montreux.

One of the last days before my departure from Switzerland.  View of the Savoy Alps along Lac Léman.

Candy-colored clouds.  Sigh.

View from my uncle's place in Swizterland.  Don't you just want to curl up into a ball and snuggle your way to sleep in these?

And to Portland—a city also known for its cloud formations (no I'm not making this up).

When they look like this, I guess having your head in the clouds isn't such a bad thing.