Dinner Party

In addition to learning how to set a five-star table with three different forks, knives, spoons, wine glasses, bread plates, etc. and how to pour wine like a seriously sophisticated alcoholic, I have picked up some fairly impressive napkin folding skills that would spice up any ordinary place setting. First there's the fan that stands upright all on its own, the primary one we use at the hotel and the same one my aunt taught me when I was eight-years-old (I felt pretty damn special back then). I still remember her showing me precisely how to fold the layers of cloth back and forth, back and forth. "The crease. It's all about the final crease," she said. Secondly, Ali showed me how to make a rose that they often use for Moroccan weddings. Just add a touch of color with your napkins and you can have your very own rose garden at the dinner table!

And finally, the latest creation that I have mastered will undoubtedly be executed at my next dinner party to add a little 'Wow!' factor and a definite conversation starter--always a great bonus to have at a dinner party (in my opinion) especially if you have guests who have not yet been acquainted. What is it? you ask. A penis. Correction: an erect, circumcised penis. Can't you just picture it? With the perfect mis en place and menu, you could even make it themed!

Maybe someday when I write a book I'll have a chapter dedicated to napkin art, including specific instructions and step by step photos to ensure that your fan, rose, or penis does not turn out lopsided, crooked, or deformed in any way. You wouldn't want to insult your guests, would you?